|
WHAT'S HOT: THE CHINTEE
by Lewis Creamsauce
 Look
out Ricky Martin, cuz there's a new style in town, and there
just might not be enough room for the two of you! Not since
1979's 'Punk Comb-Over' has there been such a rage on the
runways of Paris! A new facial adornment that is receiving
widespread notariaty due to its classical, yet new age appearance:
the chintee. Its allure is wrought with sexual energy
as double-chinned men from Beijing to Corpus Cristi, Texas
rush to meet this new trend with open arms.
"Frankly, this is the best thing that's ever happened
to me," chants Dave, a regular at the 3rd street McDonalds
amidst a mouthful of french fries slathered in mayonaise.
How is this feat achieved? Well, for starters you need to
have the correct foundation for the chintee. Not any Joe off
the street can pull it off. You need a large double chin,
preferably one that hangs a good two inches below your fore-chin.
You need not be slovenly, but it sure helps!
 |
|
 |
| 1. Subway employee Daryl "Bag
O' Donuts" Lemay shows off his chintee and oversize
tee. Be playful or go classic. Most shirts work with the
chintee. |
|
2. This porn-shop owner was
on his way to buy some CornNuts in Chicago and explains,
"the chintee is a bag for all seasons." |
 |
|
 |
| 3. I spotted this gentleman
from across the street where he had just accosted a "woman
of the streets." He has what you'd call a Tut-tee,
a sub-variant of the chintee. He claims his chintee "makes
him feel better about himself" when he's masturbating
in front of a mirror. |
|
4. Being dressy and understated
doesn't necessarily mean being stuffy. Bob, a retired
plumber takes good care of his chintee. "I think
this is a great way to be a little unique without being
too funky." |
"One thing that's for certain: the chintee accents your
double chin like none other in a way that my turtle-neck collection
never affords me," Dave says. "Its great...[the women]
are just crazy about it... its such an afrodesiac; I mean you
combine that with the fact that I don't bathe on a regular basis
and I'm talkin' about gettin' mad bitches, no what I'm sayin?"
Tommy Hilfiger and Fubu Sports have made quick moves as of
late to incorporate the chintee into their summer wardrobe
collections. "We basically hit the drawing board again
and had to completely re-design our collars with respect to
the chintee. Man, it came right out of left field! It would
have been a major mistake to overlook what could theoreticaly
be bigger than acid-washed jeans," an upper-level executive
who asked not to be named was quoted as saying.
There is no doubt that this chintee-a-palooza has taken to
the city streets. What better way to stand out from a monochromatic
crowd?
|
DISCLAIMER: Easy Midget hereby expressly disclaims any implied
warranties imputed by the laws of any jurisdiction. We consider ourselves and
intend to be subject to the jurisdiction only of the courts of the state of
Karnataka, India. If you are dissatisfied with this site or with any terms,
conditions, rules, policies, guidelines or practices herein, kindly piss off.
Easy Midget exists to serve Easy Midget. Easy Midget is expressly NOT concerned
with your satisfaction. Easy Midget is not responsible for any errors, omissions
or representations on any of our pages or on any links on any of our pages.
Nor does EasyMidget warrant that the use of this information is free of any
claims of copyright infringement. In short, EasyMidget is responsible for exactly
jack shit.