SHEEP OF THE YEAR:
Absolutely Fucking Insane!
by Dick Shearer

Its official: This year's Sheep of the Year contest is out of control crazy-def-stupid!. At this point a winner can't be determined, but as far as exit polling is showing, this is the "best Sheep of the Year Contest ever!" The three finalists are so confident that they have each won that an intense air of competition is looming. No one knows whether to laugh or cry. People everywhere are cheering and dancing in the streets. Its pure mayhem. Don't come anywhere near the sheep contest judging arena! Its absolutely fucking insane!! Unless you want to get overwhelmed with a "partying mood." I mean, could you imagine anything more out of control crazy than Sheep of the Year??! One thing is for certain: there can only be one sheep of the year this year, and brother, I wouldn't want to be on the losing end! What a shame!

UPDATE: All three sheep named winner!

In a surprise move, the High Sheep Counsel has decreed that this year, as an exception to the rule, all three sheep are winners! Repeat: all three sheep are winners! People have risen into an outrageous frenzy. Everyone is excited! You should see it. Good Lord is this exciting! I won't be sleeping tonight! I must say I was pulling for one sure winner, but now I agree with the counsel: three sheep should win. I mean, why not! I may not be able to ever be this excited again and I do know one thing for sure: next year is going to be ABSOLUTELY FUCKING INSANE!!! Wooooooooooooooo!!!!!

*Editor's note: Mr. Shearer's opinions do not represent those of EasyMidget Corporation. We like sheep, don't get us wrong, but not to this degree.

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