AN INTERVIEW WITH THE IDIOT WHO ACTUALLY BOUGHT A YELLOW X-TERRA
by Sam Donaldson's Hair

The Yellow X-Terra is all about "looking cool" according to Monty Mahone

Sam Donaldson's Hair: We're sitting here with Monty Mahone, a 26-year-old salesman who recently purchased a yellow Nissan X-Terra. Mr. Mahone, I guess there's no sense beating around the bush, why in God's name did you actually buy a yellow X-Terra?

Mahone: Well, its a cool car... and its yellow! I mean you can't go wrong with a yellow car. People can't help but notice you and say "boy is that unique"

Sam Donaldson's Hair: Or they may think that you drive a utility vehicle for the Massachusetts Turnpike. Or a school bus for retarded children who like to go off-roading for that matter.... or a taxi. I could go on.

Mahone: Please, don't.

Sam Donaldson's Hair: ...Urine...OK. I'll stop. So then, we've already established that yellow is a really stupid color for a vehicle, lets look at your psychological motivation. Were you abused as a child?

Mahone: No! I was taught to be individualistic. That's when I saw that commercial, I —

Sam Donaldson's Hair: Aha! You were influenced by the commercials!

Mahone: Of course. This is the 21st century. I'm a TV junkie. I'm not going to let a cool commercial aimed right at me showing a yellow X-Terra barreling through some windy dirt roads, skidding through gravel and spraying mud on the doors just fly past my eyes without allowing it to make some kind of impact on me psychologically. Those commercials empowered me.

	Yellow, once a symbolic color designating "caution" and the predominate color of a Green Bay Packers sweatshirt is now an exciting automobile trend!

Sam Donaldson's Hair: I see. A yellow X-Terra offers you some kind of symbolic correlation as to how you see yourself amongst your peers of Generation X? You're saying "I'm not driving a black, red, or blue vehicle like everyone else." You are some kind of swashbuckling beatnik revolutionary who's bucked the system and shouted a resounding "no" towards capitalism and the ordinary?

Mahone: Well, yes.

Sam Donaldson's Hair: Let me ask you then: Why not fuchsia?

Mahone: Fuchsia is for faggots. Please! People would think I was gay. If I wanted that kind of reaction I'd buy a hot pink Geo Tracker with Tweety Bird airbrushed on the tire cover.

Sam Donaldson's Hair: Which brings me to my next point: Are you gay?

Mahone: No! I just said I wasn't.

Sam Donaldson's Hair: I'm sorry. Forgive me — its just that you drive a yellow X-Terra. Mr. Mahone, thank you for your time. Good luck with your vehicle.

Mahone: You're welcome.