BUILD A BETTER SHANK
by "Hardcore" Buster Hussla

	Don't let them find your shank during a shakedown. You'll get a month in the shithole for that

In Part One of a one-part series entitled "How To Make Shit", EasyMidget demonstrates how to keep it real in the pen.

Shiv, shank, pigsticker, bone-crusher, banger, or iron. Whatever you decide to call your home-made prison weapon, you'll have everyone in the joint giving you mad props when you jab it into that joto in Block 6 who keeps giving you the eyeball in the shower.

Sho'nuff, why wait till the end of your 10-year-bid to gain the respect of your fellow inmates by learnin' a hustle or befriending the right people when you can just kill some fool right away while having fun with arts and crafts at the same time? Whether you is on a mission from your fellow prison gang thugs or just looking for some entertainment while getting some rec, making and using shanks can make your prison experience much more enjoyable.

Here is a list of my favorites, complete with how-to guidelines:

LOCK IN A SOCK
I heard about this one while doing a deuce in San Quentin for an armed 4-5-9 at a cat food factory. The lock in the sock is nice and simple since it only requires your sock and a heavy metal object, preferably a nice padlock. Everyone loves a party — especially if its a blanket party and you da host! You'll make that cheese-eater pay for squealing on your toilet-hootch hustle by treating him like a punk-bitch piñata. Sock it to him real good!

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FILED TOOTHBRUSH
3 out of 4 prison dentists agree, a filed toothbrush through the sternum hurts REAL bad. In actuality, most shanks AIN'T sharpened on concrete floors as Hollywood would have you believe because that takes too long, and you'll get caught by the marks on your floor. Instead buddy up wit' a friend in the prison machine shop where they make license plates and have him grind it up nice and sharpz. What's nice about the filed toothbrush is you can boof it up yo' ass so the guards can't find it. Just be careful how you sit, son.

MODIFIED TOOTHBRUSH + RAZOR COMBO
Yo, da grapes on this toothbrush is that it shaves as close as a blade or yo' money back! And the best part is you don't have to spend a freakin' dime to make this mothafucka and you don't even need shavin' cream to get a clean cut. You'll be anxious to catch a square and sleep that bitch who stole your fifi the other night with this hybrid toothbrush and shaving razor. This one scores points wit' me for creativity reasons cuz its like two in one. Better than the Mach 3!

ELECTRIC CORD SHOCKER
"Shokka, shokka, shokka-kahn!" I bet you always wanted your own home-made tazer, right Well, dis one's really only good for usin' on your cell-mate since you've only got as far as the cord will reach. Use it on him when that mo'fucker won't stop bumpin' his gums at night or he won't keester-bunny your heroin for you in the yard. The Electric Cord Shocker is the cadillac, mothafucka. I highly recommend this one.

KNUCKLE WRAP WITH BLADE
Don't I feel like Wolverine wit' dis shit! Knuckleheads need a good knuck-wrappin, know what I'm sayin? The most common source for the metal in da knucklewrap is from furniture, generally chair legs or parts of a bed frame or springs, and boy does this come in handy in a prison riot. Start off by throwing a little potato salad at some fool and then yank that mo'fucka's coat with a little super-fast slashin' action. To his surprise he's got a nice flesh wound to the face and is now tatooed as yo' bitch!

WRAPPED CHAIN
Now I'm a prison-weapon purist and normally wouldn't recommend wrapping any weapon to reduce its power, but when some fool needs a pumpkin head I go right for the wrapped chain. You can definitely get a few extra thumps in when you're beating some chester down in a secluded area by wrapping a sheet around the chain. He'll live long enough to remember not to ever look at you funny again!

Now I never claimed to be an expert in prison weapon manufacture and its usage, but I feel like this is a good introduction for anyone getting ready to enter the penal system for the first time. Usually I drink plenty of water and walk slow, but in the Big House it's mind over matter— they don't mind and you don't matter. I don't have the time or space to talk about all my favorite toys, but that don't mean you can't do a little homework on yo' own! While you're in the joint make sure to ask about some other excellent shanks: The sharpened bed spring, broken mirror shard, and the wire choker will always come in handy when someone wants to throw down and cut-up, just be sure dat you ain't on the receivin' end of that knowledge.

And pray you don't meet up with me in the lockdown, mothafucka!

Peace.